I'm currently reading "the worst journey in the world" but Scott didn't have anything on my epic 30 hour journey from Anjuna to Varkala!
Put a reclining seat in a giant fridge and get an enemy to violently shake the chair for 20 hours, occasionally tipping you out of it. This was my coach journey from Panaji to Cochin. The aircon was permanently on (and couldn't be turned off) so i wore all my clothes. The roads are SO bad on this journey I thought my brain was going to ooze from my ears. About 8 hours into the journey i began to get severe stomach cramps, I could feel something trying to escape, and this wasn't a gas. I thought about sleeping but decided I might not have as much bottom control so powered on with a bottle of water and music for company. Don't sleep... don't sleep... don't sleep...
The bus stopped violently, it jolted me awake and my bottom ejected liquid. I sat bolt upright expecting a smell to engulf the coach. A slight waft but nothing too bad, this was good. It was 4am, with 6 hours to go. Everyone was sleeping. I decided to sit it out. I suddenly feel dizzy, and start sweating lots. I don't know what happened then. I woke up not knowing where i was for a second, but the dizziness and sweating had stopped.
On reaching Cochin the coach dropped us at the coach station, which i'm still convinced is someone's back garden. I begin a hunt for a toilet, so i can at least get changed before the 3.5 hour train journey to Varkala. Sanitation in India is not particularly widespread, even here in a city. People look at me like i'm crazy when i ask for a toilet. After about an hour a tuk-tuk driver can see i'm obviously distressed, still with cramps and asks if i'm ok. I ask where he would go to the toilet, and he points me off down a road and gives me the name of a hotel. "You can use. Just buy tea" he said. I distribute the little reserve energy i have and head off quickly in the searing heat. The hotel is more of a curry house with some rooms attached. I head in, order a tea and head to the toilet. I won't go into detail but fresh pants can cheer you up wonderfully.
After paying tourist prices for a tuk-tuk to the train station (i wasn't in the mood for haggling) i grab a bottle of water and lie down in the shade on the platform, still feeling ropey and exhausted. My saviour comes in the form of a very kind Dutch backpacker who's also getting the train to Varkala. She keeps me company, taking my mind off events. She makes me drink some warm pepsi and tries to get me to eat something. Feeling ill on your own in a unknown place is daunting. We board the train and head to the coast. The train journey is beautiful. I feel better already.
Put a reclining seat in a giant fridge and get an enemy to violently shake the chair for 20 hours, occasionally tipping you out of it. This was my coach journey from Panaji to Cochin. The aircon was permanently on (and couldn't be turned off) so i wore all my clothes. The roads are SO bad on this journey I thought my brain was going to ooze from my ears. About 8 hours into the journey i began to get severe stomach cramps, I could feel something trying to escape, and this wasn't a gas. I thought about sleeping but decided I might not have as much bottom control so powered on with a bottle of water and music for company. Don't sleep... don't sleep... don't sleep...
The bus stopped violently, it jolted me awake and my bottom ejected liquid. I sat bolt upright expecting a smell to engulf the coach. A slight waft but nothing too bad, this was good. It was 4am, with 6 hours to go. Everyone was sleeping. I decided to sit it out. I suddenly feel dizzy, and start sweating lots. I don't know what happened then. I woke up not knowing where i was for a second, but the dizziness and sweating had stopped.
On reaching Cochin the coach dropped us at the coach station, which i'm still convinced is someone's back garden. I begin a hunt for a toilet, so i can at least get changed before the 3.5 hour train journey to Varkala. Sanitation in India is not particularly widespread, even here in a city. People look at me like i'm crazy when i ask for a toilet. After about an hour a tuk-tuk driver can see i'm obviously distressed, still with cramps and asks if i'm ok. I ask where he would go to the toilet, and he points me off down a road and gives me the name of a hotel. "You can use. Just buy tea" he said. I distribute the little reserve energy i have and head off quickly in the searing heat. The hotel is more of a curry house with some rooms attached. I head in, order a tea and head to the toilet. I won't go into detail but fresh pants can cheer you up wonderfully.
After paying tourist prices for a tuk-tuk to the train station (i wasn't in the mood for haggling) i grab a bottle of water and lie down in the shade on the platform, still feeling ropey and exhausted. My saviour comes in the form of a very kind Dutch backpacker who's also getting the train to Varkala. She keeps me company, taking my mind off events. She makes me drink some warm pepsi and tries to get me to eat something. Feeling ill on your own in a unknown place is daunting. We board the train and head to the coast. The train journey is beautiful. I feel better already.
I am understanding where you are coming from here really I do. And I truly believe your trip was Hell....But think again -70 no tent wind chill???
ReplyDeleteGale force wind plus. 60 foot ice cliffs not just one but a sea of them. frost bite, Penguin blubber as food.Hot penguin blubber in your eye. Darkness,fog,short sightedness. All this just to get an egg for breakfast.And they had no dancing on no beach.
I was of course joking!
DeleteI know stay safe keep your spare pants handy.
ReplyDeleteCome home to mommy son.
ReplyDeleteyou can share this story with cameron and his diaRIO episode.
ReplyDeleteone day yo will laugh.
this may not be for a while.
BIG LOVE darling
xx