Hoi An, Vietnam

The journey down the coast up the Hai Van pass is possibly one of the most beautiful coach journeys I've ever been on. Out of the right windown the rolling green fields roll up to peaking hills to the Laos border and on the left the sparkling blue coast winds as far as the eye can see. It leaves you uncertain which way to look! Top Gear described the journey (and road) as one of their all-time favourites.

The train would be equally as nice I'm sure

We checked into the only remaining hotel in Hoi An, the Dai Long ($15 for an a/c double) for the first night, as it was a public holiday and swarms of Vietnamese descended on the town!  It's a picture postcard shopping mecca. You can have anything you want, handmade, in a day. Hundreds and hundreds of shops line the streets offering to put something together for you from your description, a picture, website or from their own catalogues. It's not really my scene, this shopping thing. Ask anyone that knows me! It's not that I dislike shopping, more that I have no idea what to buy so get fed up. There's one person who really helps me, to the point of me giving her my credit card and her choosing £500 worth of goods, which get delivered to my door (no, it's not my mother). I was thinking about buying a suit here but I've lost 10kg since I started travelling, and a fitting now would be inaccurate when I get home and pile that western fat back on. Talitha had some cute leather shoes made almost identical to a picture on a website. They certainly look well made (they're still going strong one month later) so I feel I should give props to the makers;

Shopping aside there's not much else to do. There's eating and drinking of course and Hoi An has many beautiful restaurants set in French colonial buildings but they don't financially benefit the long-term budget traveller, so we eat in the tasty cheap set meal joints (with bia hoi for 4000dong!). At night the town is beautifully lit up with lanterns hanging everywhere, on the bridge, the river, draped amongst the flowers on the colonial buildings and up the high street. It's not so much a backpacking destination, it's more for couples and families, but it's worth a stop even if only for one night.  

We hire four motorbikes. They are key here, giving you the freedom to visit one of the many beaches up the coast. We avoid the town beach and have a quick swim at An Bang. We then decide to find some even quieter beaches further north but all of the land north of the open beaches in Hoi An has been bought by foreign million dollar resorts, although they don't seem to have built anything yet, or started to build something but didn't finish. We find one derelict looking building around 8km north of Hoi An and wheelspin the motorbikes over the sand for a closer look. Steve, a friend of Emily, heads in first when a security guard, with gun, appears from nowhere. Time to leave. Even further north security men sit in little huts on the roadside sadly preventing us getting to these beaches. In the end we give up and head back to Hoi An. Shame that someone, looking for a little quiet beach, can't just turn up and have a swim, or bathe for an hour on this beautiful coastline. 

The next day Talitha stays back to write her blog so me and Kylie share a bike and Steve and Emily share a bike. We scoot off and get lost around some back roads, then head north on the main road to Da Nang. About 10km up the road Steve's bike gets a puncture, right outside a "garage" (some guys house!). He repairs it quick-time and we're off again.

Mr. Fix it

We're approached by a seemingly innocent lady on a moped, telling us that we're near the marble mountains and we can park in her shop if we like. With no beaches about, and having read about the marble mountains, we follow her and park in her shop which sells a million marble carvings from the tiniest Buddha to the biggest horse statue (complete with realistic penis) which are all ship-able to your home country. We get a ticket and head past a stupid plastic penguin bin (wtf?) up the stairs to the top of the tourist mountain where there is a rock temple and some ancient carvings of Buddha in caves with various sharp and slippery rocks to clamber on (and thorn trees to put your hands on) to get to the summit, for some fantastic views.

Back down and collecting the bikes we of course had to "just look" in the ladies shop. Despite the  impressive array of marble goods I don't purchase anything as it adds quite a bit of weight to the long-term travellers backpack, and I already have various Buddha souvenirs.

The ride home in the afternoon sunshine was irresponsible bliss with clear fast stretches of road and whooping overtaking, fast accelerating, cornering and braking (occasionally delivering Kylie's breasts into my upper back) then cruising into the town to return the bikes, have a quick shower then straight on the night bus to Na Trang (shudder!)

Phong Nha, Vietnam

This was never going to be easy. The open bus ticket is severely limited to the main stops. Phong Nha, and nearby town Dong Hoi are certainly not one of these! Nested mid-country somewhere between Hanoi and Hue we asked if the overnight bus could drop us at Dong Hoi, as it's on the way, to which they agreed. Fingers crossed we went to sleep expecting to be shouted at to get off the bus when we arrived. Luckily (or unluckily) I didn't sleep much and could see that we were approaching Dong Hoi so woke Talitha up and gathered our stuff. Sure enough, 10 minutes later, we were silently hurried from the bus at 5am, with everyone else still snoring.

legroom

Dong Hoi is dead at 5am with just the odd motorbike pootling about, viewing us with confusion. With no help from a nearby hotel (except the use of their toilet) we head out looking for the bus station guided by the LP map. After walking past an odd assortment of government buildings, one of which had an American warplane and a tank in its front garden, we arrive at the quiet little bus station, much to the bemusement of the locals. Asking about a bus to Phong Nha leads to differences in opinions: some people saying there's no bus, some giving us one time and some saying another. I go and grab a meaty breakfast baguette from a bakery we spotted on the walk over and get back to a conclusion. "This goes to Phong Nha now!". Off we go, still a little unsure if this is correct. We must've travelled around 10km when we're ushered off the bus. Asking the passengers where we go next we're pointed to the other side of the road, where there is some dirt. The bus roars off and motorbike taxis loom down. They explain that there's no bus, but having heard this a lot we're not convinced. I get a second and third opinion from a shop owner then garage attendant, who look at me like they'd never seen a white person. They tell me that there's no bus so we sit with a staring party, in a cafe, in the middle of somewhere, on the junction of the road that clearly leads to Phong Nha. We admit defeat and call the farmstay, who agree to come and pick us up (for 300,000 dong). So close :)

View from the farmstay

The farm and surrounding countryside are breathtaking. Fields of wheat and corn as far as the mountains in the distance seperating Vietnam with Laos. The farm building is tall with an open front and back making it bright and airy. There's a nice back garden with swimming pool, a pool table and bar inside and lots of chairs to lounge on. The farmstay is run by an Australian chap and his Vietnamese wife  who speaks with an interesting mix of the two accents. Our dormatory is in a seperate building belonging to the brother of the Vietnamese lady. It's another tall farmhouse and is possibly the hottest dorm I've ever stayed in, despite the ammount of fans working overtime.

Communal area

Hot dorm

We spend the day relaxing, updating the diaries, reading and eating. The farmstay run tours to the local caves and they're keen for us to join these, but we've already decided to get a motorbike and have an adventure ourselves. That evening we have a sunset walk accompanied by the farm dog, who doesn't seem fussy who he walks with.

Next morning we crawl out of the sauna as soon as it's light, able to bear no more. Bryan, who I met in India, said to me: if you only go to one cave in Vietnam make it the Paradise cave. Tooled up with motorbike, suncream, hats, useless map from the farmstay, water and swimming costumes I give Talitha a quick lesson on how to work a semi-automatic motorbike and we pootle down the dirt track to the main road. It takes about an hour to reach the paradise cave system in the Nha-Ke Bang national park (with a couple of wrong turns and a stop off at a cute Catholic church). You're supposed to pay to enter the national park but if you tell the guards that you're just here for a quick swim they let you pass (you still have to pay to get into the cave).

At only 10am the heat is already unbearable so the path from the car park to the cave is a very welcome leafy, butterfly filled pleasure. We are the only people walking with everyone else opting to take the non-complimentory golf carts and mowing down the poor butterflies; minus one for conservation. Approaching the cave you can feel pockets of sublime cool air emanating from the cliffs like natural air conditioning - so nice!!

Tiny cave entrance leads to this gaping chasm!

The cave entrance itself is merely a hole, barely enough to fit some stairs down. The cave was only discovered in 2005 by British explorers and is 31km long and a dizzying 100m high in places. They were so impressed with the features they named it the Paradise cave (Thien Duong). It's been open to tourists since 2010. I've been to many caves in my billion years in this universe but this one is astonishing! It was extremely quiet when we were there and at the deepest point tourists can go we were actually the only people. I can only imagine how terrifying being 1km underground would be if the lights were to go out. I'll shut up typing and give you a handful of images I took on my 5D. The images are not edited in any way as I have no software for this (on my travels). Talitha is my beautiful assistant trying to give the images some perspective!

Giant stalagmite (might touch the ceiling... remember? From school?)

1km underground

Cave exit

Leaving the chilled caves we immediately broke into sweat. The difference in temperature is ridiculous. On the way out I noticed this sign and had to take a shot. Being drunk and mental illness are the same?!

Out the caves on the road back there's a spot on the river that you can bathe at (for a small fee). We got into the cool water only to be suddenly surrounded by beer drinking, shouty locals. Back out the water and clambering out of bounds downstream over hot boulders produced a much more discreet spot!

Back on the bike to the farmstay for supper. On the way back we stopped for gas, and I got off the wrong (i.e. not left) side of the bike (amateur passenger!) burning my leg on the exhaust and giving myself a "Vietnamese kiss". Very common in this part of the world. It seems you're not a real motorbikey person until you have one, or something. I'll post update pictures in the coming months!

As a final note I would just like to say that Phong Nha is my absolute favourite place in Vietnam.

Nice helmet

Vietnamese kiss - day 1