Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

I much prefer Saigon as the city name (no disrespect to Ho Chi Minh intended) and this is our last stop in Vietnam. After some mildly "meh" beach breaks it feels good to be back in the city. We arrive in a cracking storm in the evening. I love 'em, I could sit for hours watching the skies for piercing forks of light and feeling the ground-trembling rumbles of thunder. Off the bus it's wet, but we don't have far to go to the hotel (Hoang Kahn - $15 per night / triple room) which has already been sorted for us by Emily who came the previous day.

I took a tour out to to the Cu Chi tunnels, about 1 hour out of Saigon. These 121km of tunnels were used for defensive and offensive purposes as well as supply routes, and living. The Americans couldn't penetrate with ground force (there were booby-traps everywhere!) or ponding the area with bombs dropped from B-52's bombs. On entering you're given a sticker and shown a quick anti-American video from that time, then a demonstration of some of the gruesome traps, then our guide shows us the holes and entrances they used, inviting us to have a go. However, a girl got stuck and it took a while, and four people, to pull her out, so we didn't get a go.

Now you see him...

Me and about 4 others did all three tunnels, getting progressively smaller until you're pretty much crawling on hands and knees. There are exits at the end of each tunnel should you wish to bail out. How the VC spent all that time down there in that heat and darkness I'll never fathom! As soon as  I was out into the fresh air my body exploded with sweat. I don't think I've ever sweat that much in such a short space of time.

While all this is happening you can hear gunfire from the range. After the tunnels you're taken over there and shown the array of weapons that you can fire, for a meaty price. I've never done anything like this before, and never will again so stumped up 350,000 dong for 10 shots of an AK-47, the Russian made, Vietnamese weapon of choice. It's quite unnerving being led to the firing range; the guns are deafening. As I walk down I've not had a chance to pop on my ear defenders and the Australian chap before me is mid-way though his 10 shots on a monster M60. Anyone that knows a little about guns would know that this is the American daddy of hand-held weapons, its insanely loud thumps instantly gave me tinnitus. I quickly put on my ear protectors! The weapons are attached to the the rails which is almost a shame but understandable; what's to stop a tourist turning around and killing the first ten people in sight, or indeed breaking their shoulder with the savage recoil? I squeeze the trigger and fire my 10 rounds, at a distant target on a huge dirt mound; slow at first, then BAM BAM BAM BAM *click* (empty). I have no idea if it hit it (the target or the dirt mound!) but it was fun, and an adrenaline rush! I head back to the holding area, collecting a full metal jacket on the way, with a big smile on my mush :)

A to the muthafuckin' K home-boy, A to the muthafuckin' kayyyyyyyy

The bus dropped some of us at the war museum on the way back to Saigon, where I met up with Talitha and Emily. The museum has a particularly interesting war photography section on the top floor - you need to have balls of steel to be a wartime photographer. London born Larry Burrows is a particular favourite, he took some powerfully striking shots before the helicopter he was in was shot down over northern Laos (incidentally not far from where I'm writing this diary now). In the museum grounds there's a selection of American war machines (no Vietnamese though, oddly enough) and I'm instantly drawn to the Huey, where Talitha ops for the big black fire-spitting tank.

One day this shall be mine

Hoochie and the war machine

Every evening we're out on the street. There are people everywhere, perched on tiny plastic seats, spilling out onto the road. There's now a large group of us, collected from various parts of Vietnam (mostly Emily's Ha Long naked party cruise!). This is pretty much the evening theme for the next few days! Bia hoi is cheaper than water and flows like water. We don't move except to make space for more people or to shuffle under the canvas when the rains come or to go and see Emily do a couple of impromptu gigs in a nearby bar. Good times :)

Phong Nha, Vietnam

This was never going to be easy. The open bus ticket is severely limited to the main stops. Phong Nha, and nearby town Dong Hoi are certainly not one of these! Nested mid-country somewhere between Hanoi and Hue we asked if the overnight bus could drop us at Dong Hoi, as it's on the way, to which they agreed. Fingers crossed we went to sleep expecting to be shouted at to get off the bus when we arrived. Luckily (or unluckily) I didn't sleep much and could see that we were approaching Dong Hoi so woke Talitha up and gathered our stuff. Sure enough, 10 minutes later, we were silently hurried from the bus at 5am, with everyone else still snoring.

legroom

Dong Hoi is dead at 5am with just the odd motorbike pootling about, viewing us with confusion. With no help from a nearby hotel (except the use of their toilet) we head out looking for the bus station guided by the LP map. After walking past an odd assortment of government buildings, one of which had an American warplane and a tank in its front garden, we arrive at the quiet little bus station, much to the bemusement of the locals. Asking about a bus to Phong Nha leads to differences in opinions: some people saying there's no bus, some giving us one time and some saying another. I go and grab a meaty breakfast baguette from a bakery we spotted on the walk over and get back to a conclusion. "This goes to Phong Nha now!". Off we go, still a little unsure if this is correct. We must've travelled around 10km when we're ushered off the bus. Asking the passengers where we go next we're pointed to the other side of the road, where there is some dirt. The bus roars off and motorbike taxis loom down. They explain that there's no bus, but having heard this a lot we're not convinced. I get a second and third opinion from a shop owner then garage attendant, who look at me like they'd never seen a white person. They tell me that there's no bus so we sit with a staring party, in a cafe, in the middle of somewhere, on the junction of the road that clearly leads to Phong Nha. We admit defeat and call the farmstay, who agree to come and pick us up (for 300,000 dong). So close :)

View from the farmstay

The farm and surrounding countryside are breathtaking. Fields of wheat and corn as far as the mountains in the distance seperating Vietnam with Laos. The farm building is tall with an open front and back making it bright and airy. There's a nice back garden with swimming pool, a pool table and bar inside and lots of chairs to lounge on. The farmstay is run by an Australian chap and his Vietnamese wife  who speaks with an interesting mix of the two accents. Our dormatory is in a seperate building belonging to the brother of the Vietnamese lady. It's another tall farmhouse and is possibly the hottest dorm I've ever stayed in, despite the ammount of fans working overtime.

Communal area

Hot dorm

We spend the day relaxing, updating the diaries, reading and eating. The farmstay run tours to the local caves and they're keen for us to join these, but we've already decided to get a motorbike and have an adventure ourselves. That evening we have a sunset walk accompanied by the farm dog, who doesn't seem fussy who he walks with.

Next morning we crawl out of the sauna as soon as it's light, able to bear no more. Bryan, who I met in India, said to me: if you only go to one cave in Vietnam make it the Paradise cave. Tooled up with motorbike, suncream, hats, useless map from the farmstay, water and swimming costumes I give Talitha a quick lesson on how to work a semi-automatic motorbike and we pootle down the dirt track to the main road. It takes about an hour to reach the paradise cave system in the Nha-Ke Bang national park (with a couple of wrong turns and a stop off at a cute Catholic church). You're supposed to pay to enter the national park but if you tell the guards that you're just here for a quick swim they let you pass (you still have to pay to get into the cave).

At only 10am the heat is already unbearable so the path from the car park to the cave is a very welcome leafy, butterfly filled pleasure. We are the only people walking with everyone else opting to take the non-complimentory golf carts and mowing down the poor butterflies; minus one for conservation. Approaching the cave you can feel pockets of sublime cool air emanating from the cliffs like natural air conditioning - so nice!!

Tiny cave entrance leads to this gaping chasm!

The cave entrance itself is merely a hole, barely enough to fit some stairs down. The cave was only discovered in 2005 by British explorers and is 31km long and a dizzying 100m high in places. They were so impressed with the features they named it the Paradise cave (Thien Duong). It's been open to tourists since 2010. I've been to many caves in my billion years in this universe but this one is astonishing! It was extremely quiet when we were there and at the deepest point tourists can go we were actually the only people. I can only imagine how terrifying being 1km underground would be if the lights were to go out. I'll shut up typing and give you a handful of images I took on my 5D. The images are not edited in any way as I have no software for this (on my travels). Talitha is my beautiful assistant trying to give the images some perspective!

Giant stalagmite (might touch the ceiling... remember? From school?)

1km underground

Cave exit

Leaving the chilled caves we immediately broke into sweat. The difference in temperature is ridiculous. On the way out I noticed this sign and had to take a shot. Being drunk and mental illness are the same?!

Out the caves on the road back there's a spot on the river that you can bathe at (for a small fee). We got into the cool water only to be suddenly surrounded by beer drinking, shouty locals. Back out the water and clambering out of bounds downstream over hot boulders produced a much more discreet spot!

Back on the bike to the farmstay for supper. On the way back we stopped for gas, and I got off the wrong (i.e. not left) side of the bike (amateur passenger!) burning my leg on the exhaust and giving myself a "Vietnamese kiss". Very common in this part of the world. It seems you're not a real motorbikey person until you have one, or something. I'll post update pictures in the coming months!

As a final note I would just like to say that Phong Nha is my absolute favourite place in Vietnam.

Nice helmet

Vietnamese kiss - day 1

Sa Pa, Vietnam

Sleepily crawling off the night bus from Hanoi the mountain freshness and a coffee soon wake us up. A lady offers us a $5 each double room at "Nha Khach Giao Thong" which translates as "The back packer hostel" I believe. Most people who come here go trekking into the nearby hills so in the town you can see groups of westerners keenly followed by the traditionally dressed resident ladies of the various nearby hill villages: Hmong, Dao, Giay, Pho Lu and Tay. They literally follow you for all of your trek hoping that you might buy some clothes or trinkets that they make. Tomorrow we do one of these treks so we have today to relax. We have an omelette then have a look around the shops and markets which sell colourful arrays of trinkets and food (including dog meat, although I couldn't find any). The village square has a huge 8-point star in the middle (Christian?) and working communist propaganda speaker arrays in each corner. Next to the square is a catholic church from the days of the Sa Pa as a French hill station.

Sa Pa town square

We book a two day one night homestay trek with Nomad trails for which I decide I'm going to need a rucksack. I hate rucksacks while travelling, purely because I hate carrying two bags around (a common sight is the traveller surrounded by a big rucksack on back and small rucksack on front). Vietnam holds no prisoners when it comes to faking stuff and here is no exception; there's hundreds of shops selling rip-offs (mostly North Face). I decide to go against the masses and not get a North Face bag, eventually finding a shop selling Deuter so reluctantly purchase a knock-off rucksack for $8. Extortionate!

 

There's a cute little cafe perched on the roadside with tiny chairs outside and a little BBQ. Grabbing a jug of Bia Hoi and some meaty kebabs, mushroom kebabs, purple potatoes and grilled sweetcorn we proceed to get drunk with some ex-pats who work in an eco-lodge a few km out of town.

Nha Khach Giao Thong hotel

 Next morning Talitha's friend (and violin teacher) Emily arrives off the sleeper bus from Hanoi, she's going to be travelling with us for a month. She meets us at our hotel and we let her shower and get the sleep out of her system before embarking on the trek. Fake rucksack packed, battered vans on feet and camera in hand we follow our guide out of the town, followed by around ten village ladies and their super-cute babies strapped with cloths on their backs.

Threading along the valley past fields of indigo (I never knew it was a plant!) and down dusty roads the views are fantastic, only spoiled slightly by occasional diggers and trucks. It's baking hot and sweaty work so we stop every so often for refreshments, trinket purchases and for our guide (I forget her name) to explain about the valley and village people (no, not the band) in very good English. Onwards and downwards into the valley, crossing rivers and paddy fields. For lunch we have some noodles with 100 other hungry trekkers and 1000 new trinket sellers then carry on to our homestay.

 

I've never stayed at a homestay before and I expected it to be literally a small cosy home, where just a few of us would spend a night and eat with the residents. Don't get me wrong, it was very beautiful, and the people did live there, but it was more like a dormitory, in the loft of the house, where up to twenty people could stay. But I have no other homestay experience to compare this to so I'll leave it there! For dinner it was me and about twelve girls. The food was incredible. All fresh cooked dishes with enough to feed an army, for want of a better expression. We had some beer and rice wine, watched a massive storm brewing then retired to our mosquito nets, worn out from the day.

Homestay

Day two and we had more pancakes and bananas than anyone could ever eat (I cannot fault the food!). Before we know it our guide is up and we're off down the valley; promptly joined by more village ladies plus babies, and children. The second day took us through whispy bamboo forests, over almost dry waterfalls, through damp paddy fields and tiny farms with muddy half-clothed kids playing with pigs. Lunch was a quieter affair as most people has just done the one day trek. I bought some wrist bands from a cute old lady that had been following us for an eternity and an mouth instrument that sounds like a little like a digeridoo. I gave one lovely lady my hat and she gave me a free wrist band! We continued for another hour then were picked up by a minibus for the journey back to Sa Pa.

Cute wild village kids 

Lady in my hat and my new wristband

Next day is exploring time. Hiring some motorbikes from a man on the street corner ($4 a day) we set off up the mountain roads. Unfortunately it's raining so we have to take it easy, but eventually find the waterfall and have a coffee on what seems like a pass (there's too much fog to be sure). Back down out of the clouds Talitha drops out with a bad stomach while me and Emily carried on down the valley. It was at 60k/h that I saw an enormous bug coming towards me. Next thing I knew I felt a crazy buzzing in my helmet so prompted Emily to stop so I could look. I took the helmet off and a giant dragonfly flew out; I have no idea how it survived that! Getting too far down the valley we headed back up, refuelled then went over the other side of the mountain where the sun was blazing. HELLO rain shadow!! The roads here are fantastic and we opened the bikes up for a great ride. It was here that my motorbike appreciation nodule opened for business!