Ubud, Bali, Indonesia

I wanted to get to Kuta to pick up a motorbike so I could go inland to Ubud and further north to some more volcanoes. Bizarrely there's no bus to Kuta (the main tourist area) from the capital. I grudgingly pay 50,000 for a minivan to take me. In Kuta I hire a motorbike for 5 days and head to the hills.

Getting out of Kuta and back though Denpasar is a nightmare - the traffic is horrendous. Once out though the roads are great, and fairly empty. I keep going north and ascending higher and higher. As I approach the mount Batur caldera is starts to rain. I have no raincoat and get soaked - which is extremely refreshing at first but the cool altitude air soon makes you cold! After seeing Bromo in Java this area is nothing special but still nice. On the roads around the caldera people actually ride up to you on their bikes and try and sell you tours or trinkets, or stop you to "talk" - in all the times I've had to say no to someone selling something it's the first time on a motorbike!

Quite cold now I head for Ubud, further back down to the coast. I stop at a coffee plantation for a kopi Luwak. A Luwak is a cute furry thing that looks like a weasel. They eat the coffee beans and poo them out intact. People collect, clean and roast these beans - the beans journey is supposed to add to the flavour. The owner brought out a range of different coffee and tea for me to try (and ultimately buy from the extensive shop). I would say the Luwak kopi tastes rich, and like chocolate - but would never replace traditional coffee for me. I wanted to say hello to the Luwak out of the cage but it was sleeping and the guy said no :(

Many flavour coffee and tea - Luwak kopi in the china cup 

Sleepy Luwak

Ubud's nice. There's a billion spa's and art galleries and some FABULOUS architecture. Traditional Balinese architecture is incredible - the most beautiful and geometric I've ever seen. The shapes and details are truly astonishing. Hindu temples containing this wonderful art are everywhere - even most homes have their own temple. I stayed at Eka's home stay which has a fine family temple attached. 

I went to the monkey forest! On entrance you can buy bananas but as soon as you walk in you're mobbed - monkeys climbing all over you trying to grab the bananas! A particularly large one jumped on me and took the whole bunch. I love monkeys, but not all over me. Even when you have no food they tug at stuff, or try and grab your water bottle or sunglasses - keep everything locked down is the rule here.

On the ride back to Kuta I got stopped by the insanely corrupt police. I've heard that most tourists get stopped at least once on bikes - I spoke to one guy who'd paid out over 1,000,000 Rupiah in fines! The reason for stopping me was that my front wheel was on a pedestrian crossing when stopped at a red light. When he told me this I seriously thought it was a joke. As we were speaking, locals were JUMPING the red light with no helmet, some were even going the wrong way over the red light!! Corrupt policeman #1 showed me a piece of "official" printed A4 paper stating a 500,000 fine. I said that I wouldn't pay it... I can't pay it - I literally didn't have that cash on me. I had 250,000 and he said "give me this" I said no, and that I would give them 20,000. At this point another corrupt policeman turned up and they had a conversation. The corrupt policeman #2 turned to me and got angry, saying I must pay now or I go to court - he was certainly trying to freak me out. Corrupt policeman #1 was now making 'don't mess with him' faces at me. I slapped 200,000 in his hand and he put it in his pocket then said "go".

Back at the guest house I was speaking to a Balinese lady. She said "Just get a court slip from them and leave - pay nothing. Nothing will come of it. I know because my husband is a policeman! You can't do anything in Bali without being ripped off, everybody is corrupt!" - then she ranted about a printer cartridge that she'd taken in and it'd been swapped or something.

I wanted to get stopped again, to test the theory - but never did! :) 

Sa Pa, Vietnam

Sleepily crawling off the night bus from Hanoi the mountain freshness and a coffee soon wake us up. A lady offers us a $5 each double room at "Nha Khach Giao Thong" which translates as "The back packer hostel" I believe. Most people who come here go trekking into the nearby hills so in the town you can see groups of westerners keenly followed by the traditionally dressed resident ladies of the various nearby hill villages: Hmong, Dao, Giay, Pho Lu and Tay. They literally follow you for all of your trek hoping that you might buy some clothes or trinkets that they make. Tomorrow we do one of these treks so we have today to relax. We have an omelette then have a look around the shops and markets which sell colourful arrays of trinkets and food (including dog meat, although I couldn't find any). The village square has a huge 8-point star in the middle (Christian?) and working communist propaganda speaker arrays in each corner. Next to the square is a catholic church from the days of the Sa Pa as a French hill station.

Sa Pa town square

We book a two day one night homestay trek with Nomad trails for which I decide I'm going to need a rucksack. I hate rucksacks while travelling, purely because I hate carrying two bags around (a common sight is the traveller surrounded by a big rucksack on back and small rucksack on front). Vietnam holds no prisoners when it comes to faking stuff and here is no exception; there's hundreds of shops selling rip-offs (mostly North Face). I decide to go against the masses and not get a North Face bag, eventually finding a shop selling Deuter so reluctantly purchase a knock-off rucksack for $8. Extortionate!

 

There's a cute little cafe perched on the roadside with tiny chairs outside and a little BBQ. Grabbing a jug of Bia Hoi and some meaty kebabs, mushroom kebabs, purple potatoes and grilled sweetcorn we proceed to get drunk with some ex-pats who work in an eco-lodge a few km out of town.

Nha Khach Giao Thong hotel

 Next morning Talitha's friend (and violin teacher) Emily arrives off the sleeper bus from Hanoi, she's going to be travelling with us for a month. She meets us at our hotel and we let her shower and get the sleep out of her system before embarking on the trek. Fake rucksack packed, battered vans on feet and camera in hand we follow our guide out of the town, followed by around ten village ladies and their super-cute babies strapped with cloths on their backs.

Threading along the valley past fields of indigo (I never knew it was a plant!) and down dusty roads the views are fantastic, only spoiled slightly by occasional diggers and trucks. It's baking hot and sweaty work so we stop every so often for refreshments, trinket purchases and for our guide (I forget her name) to explain about the valley and village people (no, not the band) in very good English. Onwards and downwards into the valley, crossing rivers and paddy fields. For lunch we have some noodles with 100 other hungry trekkers and 1000 new trinket sellers then carry on to our homestay.

 

I've never stayed at a homestay before and I expected it to be literally a small cosy home, where just a few of us would spend a night and eat with the residents. Don't get me wrong, it was very beautiful, and the people did live there, but it was more like a dormitory, in the loft of the house, where up to twenty people could stay. But I have no other homestay experience to compare this to so I'll leave it there! For dinner it was me and about twelve girls. The food was incredible. All fresh cooked dishes with enough to feed an army, for want of a better expression. We had some beer and rice wine, watched a massive storm brewing then retired to our mosquito nets, worn out from the day.

Homestay

Day two and we had more pancakes and bananas than anyone could ever eat (I cannot fault the food!). Before we know it our guide is up and we're off down the valley; promptly joined by more village ladies plus babies, and children. The second day took us through whispy bamboo forests, over almost dry waterfalls, through damp paddy fields and tiny farms with muddy half-clothed kids playing with pigs. Lunch was a quieter affair as most people has just done the one day trek. I bought some wrist bands from a cute old lady that had been following us for an eternity and an mouth instrument that sounds like a little like a digeridoo. I gave one lovely lady my hat and she gave me a free wrist band! We continued for another hour then were picked up by a minibus for the journey back to Sa Pa.

Cute wild village kids 

Lady in my hat and my new wristband

Next day is exploring time. Hiring some motorbikes from a man on the street corner ($4 a day) we set off up the mountain roads. Unfortunately it's raining so we have to take it easy, but eventually find the waterfall and have a coffee on what seems like a pass (there's too much fog to be sure). Back down out of the clouds Talitha drops out with a bad stomach while me and Emily carried on down the valley. It was at 60k/h that I saw an enormous bug coming towards me. Next thing I knew I felt a crazy buzzing in my helmet so prompted Emily to stop so I could look. I took the helmet off and a giant dragonfly flew out; I have no idea how it survived that! Getting too far down the valley we headed back up, refuelled then went over the other side of the mountain where the sun was blazing. HELLO rain shadow!! The roads here are fantastic and we opened the bikes up for a great ride. It was here that my motorbike appreciation nodule opened for business!