Hoi An, Vietnam

The journey down the coast up the Hai Van pass is possibly one of the most beautiful coach journeys I've ever been on. Out of the right windown the rolling green fields roll up to peaking hills to the Laos border and on the left the sparkling blue coast winds as far as the eye can see. It leaves you uncertain which way to look! Top Gear described the journey (and road) as one of their all-time favourites.

The train would be equally as nice I'm sure

We checked into the only remaining hotel in Hoi An, the Dai Long ($15 for an a/c double) for the first night, as it was a public holiday and swarms of Vietnamese descended on the town!  It's a picture postcard shopping mecca. You can have anything you want, handmade, in a day. Hundreds and hundreds of shops line the streets offering to put something together for you from your description, a picture, website or from their own catalogues. It's not really my scene, this shopping thing. Ask anyone that knows me! It's not that I dislike shopping, more that I have no idea what to buy so get fed up. There's one person who really helps me, to the point of me giving her my credit card and her choosing £500 worth of goods, which get delivered to my door (no, it's not my mother). I was thinking about buying a suit here but I've lost 10kg since I started travelling, and a fitting now would be inaccurate when I get home and pile that western fat back on. Talitha had some cute leather shoes made almost identical to a picture on a website. They certainly look well made (they're still going strong one month later) so I feel I should give props to the makers;

Shopping aside there's not much else to do. There's eating and drinking of course and Hoi An has many beautiful restaurants set in French colonial buildings but they don't financially benefit the long-term budget traveller, so we eat in the tasty cheap set meal joints (with bia hoi for 4000dong!). At night the town is beautifully lit up with lanterns hanging everywhere, on the bridge, the river, draped amongst the flowers on the colonial buildings and up the high street. It's not so much a backpacking destination, it's more for couples and families, but it's worth a stop even if only for one night.  

We hire four motorbikes. They are key here, giving you the freedom to visit one of the many beaches up the coast. We avoid the town beach and have a quick swim at An Bang. We then decide to find some even quieter beaches further north but all of the land north of the open beaches in Hoi An has been bought by foreign million dollar resorts, although they don't seem to have built anything yet, or started to build something but didn't finish. We find one derelict looking building around 8km north of Hoi An and wheelspin the motorbikes over the sand for a closer look. Steve, a friend of Emily, heads in first when a security guard, with gun, appears from nowhere. Time to leave. Even further north security men sit in little huts on the roadside sadly preventing us getting to these beaches. In the end we give up and head back to Hoi An. Shame that someone, looking for a little quiet beach, can't just turn up and have a swim, or bathe for an hour on this beautiful coastline. 

The next day Talitha stays back to write her blog so me and Kylie share a bike and Steve and Emily share a bike. We scoot off and get lost around some back roads, then head north on the main road to Da Nang. About 10km up the road Steve's bike gets a puncture, right outside a "garage" (some guys house!). He repairs it quick-time and we're off again.

Mr. Fix it

We're approached by a seemingly innocent lady on a moped, telling us that we're near the marble mountains and we can park in her shop if we like. With no beaches about, and having read about the marble mountains, we follow her and park in her shop which sells a million marble carvings from the tiniest Buddha to the biggest horse statue (complete with realistic penis) which are all ship-able to your home country. We get a ticket and head past a stupid plastic penguin bin (wtf?) up the stairs to the top of the tourist mountain where there is a rock temple and some ancient carvings of Buddha in caves with various sharp and slippery rocks to clamber on (and thorn trees to put your hands on) to get to the summit, for some fantastic views.

Back down and collecting the bikes we of course had to "just look" in the ladies shop. Despite the  impressive array of marble goods I don't purchase anything as it adds quite a bit of weight to the long-term travellers backpack, and I already have various Buddha souvenirs.

The ride home in the afternoon sunshine was irresponsible bliss with clear fast stretches of road and whooping overtaking, fast accelerating, cornering and braking (occasionally delivering Kylie's breasts into my upper back) then cruising into the town to return the bikes, have a quick shower then straight on the night bus to Na Trang (shudder!)

Sa Pa, Vietnam

Sleepily crawling off the night bus from Hanoi the mountain freshness and a coffee soon wake us up. A lady offers us a $5 each double room at "Nha Khach Giao Thong" which translates as "The back packer hostel" I believe. Most people who come here go trekking into the nearby hills so in the town you can see groups of westerners keenly followed by the traditionally dressed resident ladies of the various nearby hill villages: Hmong, Dao, Giay, Pho Lu and Tay. They literally follow you for all of your trek hoping that you might buy some clothes or trinkets that they make. Tomorrow we do one of these treks so we have today to relax. We have an omelette then have a look around the shops and markets which sell colourful arrays of trinkets and food (including dog meat, although I couldn't find any). The village square has a huge 8-point star in the middle (Christian?) and working communist propaganda speaker arrays in each corner. Next to the square is a catholic church from the days of the Sa Pa as a French hill station.

Sa Pa town square

We book a two day one night homestay trek with Nomad trails for which I decide I'm going to need a rucksack. I hate rucksacks while travelling, purely because I hate carrying two bags around (a common sight is the traveller surrounded by a big rucksack on back and small rucksack on front). Vietnam holds no prisoners when it comes to faking stuff and here is no exception; there's hundreds of shops selling rip-offs (mostly North Face). I decide to go against the masses and not get a North Face bag, eventually finding a shop selling Deuter so reluctantly purchase a knock-off rucksack for $8. Extortionate!

 

There's a cute little cafe perched on the roadside with tiny chairs outside and a little BBQ. Grabbing a jug of Bia Hoi and some meaty kebabs, mushroom kebabs, purple potatoes and grilled sweetcorn we proceed to get drunk with some ex-pats who work in an eco-lodge a few km out of town.

Nha Khach Giao Thong hotel

 Next morning Talitha's friend (and violin teacher) Emily arrives off the sleeper bus from Hanoi, she's going to be travelling with us for a month. She meets us at our hotel and we let her shower and get the sleep out of her system before embarking on the trek. Fake rucksack packed, battered vans on feet and camera in hand we follow our guide out of the town, followed by around ten village ladies and their super-cute babies strapped with cloths on their backs.

Threading along the valley past fields of indigo (I never knew it was a plant!) and down dusty roads the views are fantastic, only spoiled slightly by occasional diggers and trucks. It's baking hot and sweaty work so we stop every so often for refreshments, trinket purchases and for our guide (I forget her name) to explain about the valley and village people (no, not the band) in very good English. Onwards and downwards into the valley, crossing rivers and paddy fields. For lunch we have some noodles with 100 other hungry trekkers and 1000 new trinket sellers then carry on to our homestay.

 

I've never stayed at a homestay before and I expected it to be literally a small cosy home, where just a few of us would spend a night and eat with the residents. Don't get me wrong, it was very beautiful, and the people did live there, but it was more like a dormitory, in the loft of the house, where up to twenty people could stay. But I have no other homestay experience to compare this to so I'll leave it there! For dinner it was me and about twelve girls. The food was incredible. All fresh cooked dishes with enough to feed an army, for want of a better expression. We had some beer and rice wine, watched a massive storm brewing then retired to our mosquito nets, worn out from the day.

Homestay

Day two and we had more pancakes and bananas than anyone could ever eat (I cannot fault the food!). Before we know it our guide is up and we're off down the valley; promptly joined by more village ladies plus babies, and children. The second day took us through whispy bamboo forests, over almost dry waterfalls, through damp paddy fields and tiny farms with muddy half-clothed kids playing with pigs. Lunch was a quieter affair as most people has just done the one day trek. I bought some wrist bands from a cute old lady that had been following us for an eternity and an mouth instrument that sounds like a little like a digeridoo. I gave one lovely lady my hat and she gave me a free wrist band! We continued for another hour then were picked up by a minibus for the journey back to Sa Pa.

Cute wild village kids 

Lady in my hat and my new wristband

Next day is exploring time. Hiring some motorbikes from a man on the street corner ($4 a day) we set off up the mountain roads. Unfortunately it's raining so we have to take it easy, but eventually find the waterfall and have a coffee on what seems like a pass (there's too much fog to be sure). Back down out of the clouds Talitha drops out with a bad stomach while me and Emily carried on down the valley. It was at 60k/h that I saw an enormous bug coming towards me. Next thing I knew I felt a crazy buzzing in my helmet so prompted Emily to stop so I could look. I took the helmet off and a giant dragonfly flew out; I have no idea how it survived that! Getting too far down the valley we headed back up, refuelled then went over the other side of the mountain where the sun was blazing. HELLO rain shadow!! The roads here are fantastic and we opened the bikes up for a great ride. It was here that my motorbike appreciation nodule opened for business!